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Definition funny of Towel:
A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santranginus V, inhaling the beady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the Ravenouse Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you--daft as a brush, but very very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough. Often associated with hitchhikers. See hoopy and frood.
Now there's a frood who knew where his towel was.
Contrary to the other dumbass definitions of towel, a towel is someone so fucking useless that they would be better off as a towel.
Person 1: Dan forgot to grab the tickets yesterday! Person 2: what a god damn towel
The most useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to- hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal ; you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough. More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with."
If you want to survive out here, you've got to know where your towel is. guy running away He's got a TOWEL!
A random, obscure comeback when nothing else can be thought of. First used by South Park character Towely.
Songs about Towel:
This Is You Throwing in the Towel by Slaves from the Album Through Art We Are All Equals
The Basin And The Towel (Poiema Album Version) by Michael Card from the Album Poiema
The Basin And The Towel (Poiema Album Version) by Michael Card from the Album The Ultimate Collection
Pick Up My Towel by The Phillips Family from the Album This Same Jesus
The Basin And The Towel (Poiema Album Version) by Michael Card from the Album Top 5: Hits
After Sex Towel (Feat. San Quinn) [Explicit] by Keak Da Sneak from the Album Mobb Boss [Explicit]
Clock / Big Ben Strikes Twelve from London Towel (Big-Ben, 12 colpi della torre di Londra) by Sound Effects from the Album Sound Effects No. 13 (World Music, Clocks & Fish)
Books about Towel:
The Towel Boy: M/M Short Story by Dianna Bell (Jun 5, 2014)
Towel Wrap Techniques for Handling Cats with Skill and Ease by Sophia Yin (Sep 21, 2012)
Towel Folding 101 (Discover the Wonderful World of Towel Origami) by Deanna Campbell (2005)
Towel Creations by Holland America Line (2007)
Beach Towel: A Short Story from Emerald Isle, NC by Grace Greene (Sep 4, 2014)
i built a boat with all the towels in your closet (and will let you drown) by Leia Penina Wilson (Oct 7, 2014)
The Lost Art of Towel Origami by Alison Jenkins and Ivy Press (Oct 1, 2005)
Movies about Towel:
Curb Your Enthusiasm: Season 7 2010 NR - Runtime: 5 hrs 20 mins Starring: Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, et al.
Addicted to Sweat DVD 2 - ATS Jawbreaker Towel, Slippery When Wet 2012 NR - Runtime: 51 mins Starring: Nicole Winhoffer Directed by: Darren Capik
STOTT PILATES Towel Workout for Strength and Mobility DVD 2012 -
Nothing But My Towel On featuring Jessica - an Art-Nude Video and Photo Collection 2012 - Runtime: 48 mins Starring: Jessica David-Nudes Directed by: David Weisenbarger
ESPN Films - Nine for IX: Let Them Wear Towels 2013 NR - Runtime: 51 mins Starring: Melissa Ludke; Lesley Visser; Christine Brennan; Claire Smith Directed by: Anna Sundberg & Ricki Ster
Fletcher Pilates® Towelwork DVD and Towel -
Hot Towel Massage 2009 - Runtime: 1 hr 17 mins Starring: Massage Nerd Directed by: Massage Nerd
Wiki information Towel:
A towel is a piece of absorbent fabric or paper used for drying or wiping. It draws moisture through direct contact, often using a blotting or a rubbing motion. Common household textile towels are made from cotton, rayon, bamboo, non-woven fibers or...
Towel Day is celebrated every year on 25 May as a tribute to the author Douglas Adams by his fans. On this day, fans carry a towel with them, as described in Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, to demonstrate their appreciation for the books...