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Definition funny of Chatteris:
A sorry little Cambridgeshire town, inhabited by bigoted inbreds who feel it necessary to steal cutlery in order to survive. Most Chatteris inhabitants are tall, derp and herp. They feed upon the unhappiness of others, alongside a real desire for silverware. Chatteris is built up of a few shops which sell nothing particularly exciting or useful. Probably sell knock-off forks, for people that like TO STEAL FORKS. Some Chatteris dwellers like to leave the country sometimes, in order to spread their knowledge of how to be inbred and effectively steal silverware. These types should be avoided as they are more fucking annoying than people that actually outright rob your property. Or alternatively, thrown in the dyke at birth. Diddums. Furthermore, Chatteris plays host to some of the ugliest cuntry-folk, as they probably use the cutlery they steal to repair their faces. In conclusion, if you see any bone-handled forks lying around in Cambridgeshire or surrounding areas, please return in a jiffy bag to HMS Your Mother promptly.
Me: WHERE IS MY FORK? Friend: I bet THAT bellend from Chatteris stole it. Me: What's wrong with his face? Friend: Oh, he's from Chatteris. Me: Do you know any silversmiths? Friend: Yes, they all live in Chatteris.
Songs about Chatteris:
Chatteri Patteri by Amruta Natu from the Album Jangali Bana
For What is Chatteris... by Half Man Half Biscuit from the Album Achtung Bono
Books about Chatteris:
Chatteris (Archive Photographs) by Rita Goodger and Andrew Spooner (Aug 1, 1997)
Chatteris Then & Now by Rita Goodger (Sep 1, 2000)
Chatteris in Old Picture Postcards (Old Picture Postcard) by Rita Goodger (Sep 1990)
Peterborough: Market Deeping and Chatteris. (Landranger Maps No. 142) D1 Edition by Ordnance Survey published... (0100)
Ely, Wisbech and Downham Market: Market Deeping and Chatteris (OS Landranger Map) D1 Edition by Ordnance Survey... (0100)
March and Ely (Explorer Maps): Chatteris, Littleport, Welney & Denver Sluice (OS Explorer Map) A1 Edition by Ordnance... (0100)
An Act for imbanking and draining certain fen lands and low grounds, within the parishes of Chatteris and Dodington... by See Notes Multiple Contributors (Sep 18, 2010)
Wiki information Chatteris:
Chatteris is a civil parish and one of four market towns in the Fenland district of Cambridgeshire, England, situated in The Fens between Huntingdon, March and Ely. The town is in the North East Cambridgeshire parliamentary constituency. Mentioned in...
Chatteris Town F.C. is an English football club based in Chatteris, Cambridgeshire. The club are currently members of the Cambridgeshire League Senior A Division, and play at West Street.