Meaning : Saint, Holy,
Origin : Italian,
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Numerology information Santa:
Name Number: 1 Meaning: Individual, Masculine, Logic, Self, Active, Leadership, Initiative, Assertive
Additional information Santa:
Santa Claus, aka "St. Nicholas" - Christmas icon.
Feminine form of SANTO
Definition funny of Santa:
The fattest, oldest pimp this side of the north pole.
Santa has three hoes. Damn that's jolly.
Santa is a jolly fat white man, who i never belived in because i knew no white guy would come into my hood after dark.
Hey theres santa, catch his fat white ass.
Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus, an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of mammoth bones and his own waste. Hurling them at chimp like creatures with crinkled hands, regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so called toys were buried as witches and defecated upon and hurled at predators that were awoken by the searing grunts of their children. It wasn't a holly-jolly Christmas that year, for many were killed... A warlike race of elves from the tenth planet landed on the ice-encased Earth and were immeadiatly enslaved by the unevolved Santa-ape to make his toys using galatic elven technology. For ever more fancier models, toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like "train." But these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid, Christmas still sucked in a big way.
Now he is a machine.
In contrast to the cynical mathematical "contradiction" to Santa, there is indeed proof of his existance. Several key points are overlooked by this callous, amateurish "study." 1. Flying reindeer: As is widely known (due to the excellent historical documentary "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," the flying reindeer are not a previously unknown species of reindeer, but were in fact given the power of flight due to eating magic acorns. As is conclusively proven in "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" (a no punches pulled look at life in Santa's village), this ability has bred true in subsequent generations of reindeer, obviously the magic acorns imprinted their power on a dominant gene sequence within the reindeer DNA strand. 2. Number of households: This figure overlooks two key facts. First of all, the first major schism in the Church split the Eastern Churches, centered in Byzantium, from the Western, which remained centered in Rome. This occurred prior to the Gregorian correction to the Julian calendar. The Eastern churches (currently called Orthodox Churches) do not recognize the Gregorian correction for liturgical events, and their Christmas is as a result several days after the Western Churches'. Santa gets two shots at delivering toys. Secondly, the figure of 3.5 children per household is based on the gross demographic average, which includes households with no children at all. The number of children per household, when figured as an average for households with children, would therefore have to be adjusted upward. Also, the largest single Christian denomination is Roman Catholic, who, as we all know, breed like rabbits. If you don't believe me, ask my four brothers and two sisters, they'll back me up. Due to the predominance of Catholics within Christian households, the total number of households containing Christian children would have to be adjusted downward to reflect the overloading of Catholics beyond a standard deviation from the median. Also, the assertion that each home would contain at least one good child would be reasonable enough if there were in fact an even 3.5 children per household. However, since the number of children per household is distributed integrally, there are a significant number (on the order of several million) of one child Christian households. Even though only children are notoriously spoiled and therefore disproportionately inclined towards being naughty, since it's the holidays we'll be generous and give them a fifty-fifty chance of being nice. This removes one half of the single child households from Santa's delivery schedule, which has already been reduced by the removal of the Orthodox households from the first delivery run. 3. Santa's delivery run (speed, payload, etc.): These all suffer from the dubious supposition that there is only one Santa Claus. The name "Santa" is obviously either Spanish or Italian, two ethnic groups which are both overwhelmingly Catholic. The last name Claus suggests a joint German/Italian background. His beginnings, battling the Burgermeister Meisterburger, suggest he grew up in Bavaria (also predominantly Catholic). The Kaiser style helmets of the Burgermeister's guards, coupled with the relative isolation of the village, suggest that his youth was at the very beginning of Prussian influence in Germany. Thus, Santa and Mrs. Claus have been together for well over one hundred years. If you think that after a hundred years of living at the North Pole with nights six months long that they remain childless, you either don't know Catholics or are unaware of the failure rate of the rhythm method. There have therefore been over five generations of Clauses, breeding like Catholics for over one hundred years. Since they are Catholic, their exponential population increase would obviously have a gain higher than the world population as a whole. There have therefore been more than enough new Santas to overcome the population increase of the world. So in fact, Santa has an easier time of it now than he did when he first started out. Santa dead, indeed; some people will twist any statistic to "prove" their cynical theory.
Songs about Santa:
Santa Monica Blvd. - Sheryl Crow
Santa Monica by Everclear from the Album Sparkle And Fade
Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town (Single Version) by Bruce Springsteen from the Album Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town
Santa Baby (Rock-Jazz Cover) by Lachi from the Album Santa Baby (Rock-Jazz Cover)
Santa Claus Is Comin' (In A Boogie Woogie Choo Choo Train) by The Tractors from the Album Have Yourself A Tractors Christmas
Santa Claus And His Old Lady by Cheech And Chong from the Album Santa Claus And His Old Lady
Santa Maria (Del Buen Ayre) (Album Version) by Gotan Project from the Album Shall We Dance?
Santa Maria (del Buen Ayre) by Gotan Project from the Album La Revancha Del Tango
Books about Santa:
The Animals' Santa by Jan Brett (Oct 21, 2014)
Loving Him Off the Field (Santa Fe Bobcats) by Jeanette Murray (Oct 21, 2014)
Santa's Little Helper by H. D. Gordon (Oct 31, 2014)
A Seaside Christmas: Santa, Baby (Chesapeake Shores Novels) by Sherryl Woods (Oct 28, 2014)
Santa looked a lot like a Cowboy: A Holiday Novella by Jenny Hammerle (Oct 14, 2014)
Santa's Claws by MJ Ware (Oct 28, 2012)
Santa Claus, Lies, and Murder (Amber Fox Mysteries book #4.5 - Novella) (The Amber Fox Murder Mystery Series) by Sibel Hodge (Aug 5, 2014)
Movies about Santa:
Bad Santa (Director's Cut) [HD] 2012 R CC - Runtime: 1 hr 29 mins Starring: Billy Bob Thornton, Tony Cox, et al. Directed by: Terry Zwigoff
The Santa Clause 2011 PG CC - Runtime: 1 hr 38 mins Starring: Tim Allen, Judge Reinhold, et al. Directed by: John Pasquin
Thomas & Friends: Santa's Little Engine [HD] 2014 NR CC - Runtime: 59 mins Starring: Mark Moraghan Directed by: David Baas
The Santa Clause 2 2011 G CC - Runtime: 1 hr 45 mins Starring: Tim Allen, Judge Reinhold, et al. Directed by: Michael Lembeck
Santa And The Three Bears 2007 G CC - Runtime: 46 mins Starring: Voices of: Hal Smith, et al. Directed by: Tony Benedict
Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians 2013 NR CC - Runtime: 1 hr 26 mins Starring: Trace Beaulieu, Frank Conniff, et al. Directed by: Stoney Sharp and Tim Ford
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians [HD] 2012 Unrated CC - Runtime: 1 hr 10 mins Starring: John Call, Leonard Hicks and Vincent Beck Directed by: Nicholas Webster
Wiki information Santa:
Santa Claus is a fictional character from the 2001 film Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and the Island of Misfit Toys.
The University of California, Santa Barbara is a public research university and one of the 10 general campuses of the University of California system. The main campus is located on a 1,022-acre site near Goleta, California, United States, 8 miles...