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Definition funny of Evesham:
Stinking toilet of the Midlands that Shakespeare once passed through on his way to London or something. Known by it's inhabitants as 'The vale of Evesham' to somehow bestow upon it an air of class. (FAIL). The typical 'Evesham female' has a combination of webbed feet, a slight brummie accent, and poor personal hygiene. Their uglyness is a genetic flaw thought to result from centuries of in-breeding, beastiality and ingestion of Worcester Sauce. Easily tempted into sex for the price of roughly 3 pints of ale. The elusive and seldom seen 'Evesham male' is a rare sight indeed. Often only seen in dole queues, pubs, or fishing on the banks of the river Avon... anywhere but actually working/contributing to society really. He is afflicted with severe retardation, equally poor hygiene and has (on average) the lowest IQ in Western Europe. Of those aged 16–74 in Evesham, 57.5% had no academic qualifications or one General Certificate of Secondary Education (GCSE). This nugget of info came from the 2001 National Cencus (god bless the internets <3) and really brings to light the 'special' nature of this waste of fucking real-estate. When told of his need to pass through Evesham on his way to London Shakespeare is reported to have exclaimed: "Evesham ya cunt? Can ye not go around the bastard?! I fuckin hate Eveshite me!" - And thus the name 'Eveshite' was born. A name the townsfolk have come to love and cherish for the past 400 years.
Husband- "Honey, I'm booking us a smashing looking hotel in the West Midlands. Our 10th wedding anniversary will be an occasion to remember!" Wife- "Whereabouts is that darling?" Husband- "It says right here on the website 'Evesham'" Wife- "I'm leaving you" Evesham/Eveshite- 'The arsehole of the West Midlands'. British Tourism board 2011. Q- "Would you like to accompany me to 'The vale of Evesham?' " A- "Would you like to have your teeth punched down your fucking throat?"
Once a quiet historic town with regular visits from royalty and host of the final battle of crusader Simon de Montfort, Eveshams civilisation has changed dramatically. It now mainly consists of inbred Gypsies robbing "SCRAP METAL/IRON", packs of Chavs (usually consisting of 10-30) starting on the elderly, 'fake' people following a hypodermic cycle from society leaders bitching and dumping their own friends and wearing gay clothes. Also Port Street and surrounding areas has a mass population of Polish people, who drink from the early hours in small groups by the river Avon, and look for people to fight and rape when Night time arrives. All these people congregate usually on a Friday/Saturday in the UK's official 2nd worst nightclub Marilyn's (Mazza's) Of course there are a few normal people who don't partcipate in any of the above but when out of the town are stereotyped into the Evesham fish net. So if you're thinking of moving or visiting here, don't bother.
so you're from Evesham, do you fuck your mom or dad?
Songs about Evesham:
Andante con variazioni, "Evesham Andante" by Athena Ensemble from the Album Elgar: Complete Works for Wind Quintet
East of Evesham by Martin Pickett from the Album Lyric Pieces
Evesham Boy by Luther Grosvenor from the Album Floodgates
Lady Evesham's Jig by Mr Dangar's Trio from the Album Boscastle Breakdown
The Late Mr Evesham by Paul Roland from the Album Roaring Boys & Sarabande
The Late Mr Evesham by Paul Roland from the Album Roaring Boys & Sarabande (Reissue)
Books about Evesham:
Evesham by Edmund Hort New (May 31, 2014)
Agatha Raisin and the Wizard of Evesham (Agatha Raisin Mysteries, No. 8) by M. C. Beaton (Dec 1999)
Evesham Township (Images of America) by John S Flack Jr. (Oct 15, 2012)
Second Baron's War: Simon de Montfort and the Battles of Lewes and Evesham by John Sadler (Jun 25, 2013)
Evesham Walking: Evesham Worcestershire by John G Abbott (Jul 26, 2014)
Evesham To Bredon From Old Photographs by Fred Archer (Nov 4, 2013)
[The Baron's War, including the battles of Lewes and Evesham. [With illustrations.]] by William Henry. Blaauw (Apr 27, 2010)
Wiki information Evesham:
Evesham is a market town and a civil parish in the Local Authority District of Wychavon in the county of Worcestershire, England with a population of 23,576, according to the 2011 census. It is located roughly equidistant between Worcester,...
Evesham Township is a township in Burlington County, New Jersey, United States. As of the 2010 United States Census, the township's population was 45,538, reflecting an increase of 3,263 from the 42,275 counted in the 2000 Census, which had in turn...