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Definition funny of Swansea:
How to survive in swansea, An experienced womans guide to surviving the city! If your a lady, to blend in with the rest, the first step is to smother your face in cheap dark brown / orange foundation (think david dickinson), only to your jaw line leaving your neck completely pale and white from having no sun all year round. The next step is to go to the local sunbed parlour, (can be found by driving on any road whithin the city for a period of 40 seconds) spend all your weekly dole money in the machine, hopefully getting you an average (swansea) session of 7 hours a day, leaving you feeling crisp and confident! The next step in life is getting pregnant, There are a few rules that you must stick to... 1) Make sure you dont know who the father is, this is usually done by sleeping with whole of the bon-y-maen rugby team in 1 night. 2) Make sure you claim maintenence for the child from every player (Making sure the sunbed sessions are paid for). 3) Make sure Family Housing get you a house close or idealy in the same street as you mother, therefore guarenteing a babysiter at all times. If your mother has already died of an overdose, you will be needing to get friendly with the neighbours (Mandy & Dai). Stick to those few rules and you sould be able to continue life as normal, burning your face and frying your hair until the age of 40, As soon as this time comes you are now ready to relive your missed youth by drinking WKD's in lava-lounge with the rest of your same aged, same faced, loud screaming, slightly overweight single parent friends who all think its ok to wear the same thing as their 25 year old daughters. Driving/Car tips: Do not under any circumstances consider driving onto the motorway, because A) it goes out of swansea. B) you probably dont have enough petrol in the car to come off at the neath exit. , Make sure you check the following before setting off for the session in the morning: All Playboy stickers / seat covers are present and correct, all 4 wheels have pink wheel trims fitted securely, Also make sure the handbreak is off, Its an all too common sight whithin the city to see girls unknowingly driving down the road with only the front 2 wheels in motion. the final and most important car tip is to always make sure the interior mirror faces.. YOU, not the car behind.
"He fuckin left me the bastard, i dont care a fuck i dont need no man in my life, thank you very much, Get out of my life and shut the door behind you! fuckin bastard... Oh, he was a bastard to me he was. " "Let me tell you something for nothing now sunshine" "Fuck off round your own place, you not from swansea you bastard" "OOOOF IF she did!"
There's been a lot of nonsense written on this page. Swansea is a one very cool place with one of the finest international award winning maritime/waterfront developments in Europe, stunning unrivalled parklands and a breathtaking golden coastline that became Britain's first designated "Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty". The city has had over £100m invested in it in the last few years and includes the National Waterfront Museum and national (Olympic) pool of Wales. It's got an exceptionally good nightlife, cuisine and culture. As for the 'rough' bits, and 'run down' bits that's referred to by other people on this site, name any other city in Britain that doesn't have any of that? On the whole the quality of life in Swansea is excellent. The quote that "Swansea is the graveyard of ambition" refers to the fact that when strangers visit Swansea they never want to leave. I left (for work purposes) a few years ago for the south east of England. Give me Swansea any day - which is why I travel 200 miles every weekend to come home to Swansea.
steroid abuse capital of europe. Geographical and spiritual home of "spice-boys" - steroid abusers with mullets who spend even more time over their hair than an american news anchorwoman. Home to a stangely polarized mix of wonderful open-hearted people, complete cunts, and not much in between
swansea is the only place outside of arkansas and turkmenistan where having a mullet is considered cool
Better than Cardiff, which is actually a shit hole.
Songs about Swansea:
Six Choral Folk Songs, H.136 (1995 - Remaster): 6. Swansea Town by Baccholian Singers of London from the Album Vaughan Williams & Holst: Choral Folksong Arrangements
Ursula (The Swansea Song) (2002 - Remaster) by Barclay James Harvest from the Album Taking Some Time On: The Parlophone-Harvest Years (1968-73)
Ursula (The Swansea Song) (BBC Session) by Barclay James Harvest from the Album Taking Some Time On: The Parlophone-Harvest Years (1968-73)
Swansea by Joanna Newsom from the Album The Milk-Eyed Mender
Squeeze Box (Live In Swansea 1976) by The Who from the Album Live Greatest Hits [+digital booklet]
Swansea by Bombay Bicycle Club from the Album Flaws
Swansea Town by Robert Shaw from the Album Sea Shanties
Books about Swansea:
Swansea City's Greatest Games by Chris Carra (Sep 29, 2014)
Swansea in the Great War by Bernard Lewis (Oct 30, 2014)
Swansea Girls (Swansea Girls Trilogy Book 1) by Catrin Collier (Dec 9, 2013)
Swansea Summer (Swansea Girls Trilogy Book 2) by Catrin Collier (Dec 9, 2013)
Swansea's Frontline Kids 1939-45 by Jim Owen (Aug 19, 2014)
Swansea Pals by Bernard Lewis (Nov 2004)
The Swansea Destiny by Fayrene Preston (Sep 1, 1991)
Movies about Swansea:
A Journey Into Children's Minds: An Introduction to 'philosophy for Children' Through the Eyes of Pupils at Schools... 2009 -
Wiki information Swansea:
Swansea, officially known as the City and County of Swansea, is a coastal city and county in Wales. It is Wales's second largest city and the UK's twenty-sixth largest city. Swansea lies within the historic county boundaries of Glamorgan. Situated on...
Swansea City Association Football Club is a Welsh professional football club based in the city of Swansea, South Wales that plays in the Premier League. Swansea City represent England when playing in European competitions, although they have...