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Numerology information Deloitte:
Name Number: 9 Meaning: Divine, God, Goodness, Truth, Unconditional love, Gift, Free will, Ideal, Whole, Endless
Definition funny of Deloitte:
The last form of slavery in the US. This is where many young people begin careers and work 115 hours a week until they either quit or die from exhaustion. Former Deloitte employees often have scarred backs from the whip marks.
Dave has no social life because he works at Deloitte.
"Deloitte" comes from the Greek denomination of "De" and "Loitte". "De" translates directly to "miserable", with "Loitte" translating to "pathetic human being." Formerly known as Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu, the name was shortened to just "Deloitte" after it was discovered that "Touche" was a 3rd grade version of the word ass, and Tohmatsu was too difficult to say. Members of the Deloitte firm are easy to spot. During the months of January through March, in preparation for hibernation, Deloitters typically put on between 5 and 65 pounds. Additionally, staffers can be seen aging as if they drank from the wrong Holy Grail during this period. The only members of Deloitte who seem to stay a consistent age are the partners, mostly because they drink and bath in the youth and souls of staff members. Deloitte is also a microcasm for the problems of American society. The wealth gap is clearly seen in Deloitte, with partners driving Porsche's, and staffers riding their new Dyno freestyle BMX's in January. In addition, Deloitte partners have new HP Tablet laptops, with staffers performing audit work on Abacuses. Deloitte staffers can typically describe their lives with the following tickmark: "I traced and agreed my weight gain to the scale in my bathroom without exception. D&T noted that 15 pounds was immaterial to performing audit work. Per discussion with my roommates, I noted that they no longer recognized me. Per further inquiry, they now refer to me as either 'The guy that sleeps in the other room', or 'The vaguely familiar friend'. D&T assessed this explanation from my roommates as acceptable. I footed the number of outstanding bills received from the mail, and noted that it tied without exception to the amount that the bill collector said I owed. I re-calculated my credit score, and noted that the score of 4 was appropriate. D&T passed on further investigation."
Deloitte has become a new plane of existence.
A verb describing metaphorical anal rape. It is derived from the common practices of partners at Deloitte & Touche LLP. Partners at this firm expect their staff to 'take it up the arse' and work like dogs, whilst being grateful for this privilege.
He was deloitted so bad he couldn't walk for days..
A place where you are not family, nor do you want to be. A place where 40 fresh faced college interns joyously start on the same date for a new program, envisioned by a Senior Manager who cares about them and treats them well and makes them happy and the program is a success and saves the company hundreds of thousands of dollars. Where the Senior Manager subsequently gets fired a year later who knows what, but rumors abound that he was a target because he spent too much on outings that kept his employees happy and retained. A place where all but 7 out of those 40 interns have quit 4 years after being hired (three years after the Senior Manager was fired). A place where you work from 9am till 3am or 5am seven days a week, for two months, because you’ve been selected to run an engagement where you have absolutely no experience in that industry, and get no help from the Manager. He was supposed to be there at 7:30 – his first time there in 2 months – but calls you at 9:30, from bed, mentions that he has to drop off his laundry and maybe get his car serviced, depending on the line. Not to mention that the reason you’re working so much is because the Manager deleted the prior year’s work-papers’ diskettes because they were sitting in a box on his desk and he thought they were junk. Yes, I’m talking about you, first initial of C. Your reward for all that hard work? A “Why did it take so long??” lecture from the partner. A place so full of pompous jerks that a Second Year’s opinion on how to get the engagement done quickly is completely ignored. To top it off, the Second Year person is neither congratulated nor recognized when their method gets the job done 3 times faster than either of the two Seniors’ and the Manager’s method. A place where the Senior tells you to ABC, and when the Manager reprimands you for it and demands to know why you did ABC, the Senior, standing two feet away, does not speak up and admit it was his instructions. A place where people who make a measly 50K a year act like they descend from Sultan Blue Blood Royalty and you, as a first year, should worship the dog poop on their leather Gucci shoes that are going to take them three years to pay off because they only make the aforementioned 50K a year. Of course, they have $100,000 in college loans, $30,000 in credit card bills, and live in the city with 3 roommates in a two bedroom walkup, but they are the bomb in their own minds. A place where you switch departments for a temporary two month stint under the promise of learning new & exciting things, where your reputation for excellence and devotion will guarantee you respect and advancement. And instead you are put to photocopying and filing for 5 months. A place so full of snotty snobs, where someone you sit next to everyday prefers to turn their head rather than say hello to you as you pass them in the hallway, because you are a first year, and they are a Senior, and think they are hot, even tho they are butt-ugly and freakish looking, and therefore you are not worthy of a “Hello”. A place where your Senior tells you that you are too happy, and too nice to people, and that it annoys them. Then the client subsequently brings over a box of cupcakes and hands it to you personally, and when you open it and there is only one cupcake inside, the Senior doesn’t even rethink their feelings about you and how good you may actually be at client relations. A place where even tho the entire business world has been using excel for years, your particular hell of a department is still using DOS Lotus. When they finally do switch over to a Windows program, they choose Lotus for Windows. And your opinion, as a lowly intern, that Excel would be a better choice, is quickly and rudely brushed aside.
Books about Deloitte:
Big 4 Blueprint: Everything you need to get and crush an interview with KPMG, E&Y, PwC, or Deloitte. by Big 4 Bound (Mar 6, 2014)
Designing B2B Brands: Lessons from Deloitte and 195,000 Brand Managers by Carlos Martinez Onaindia and Brian Resnick (Apr 1, 2013)
Case Interview for Engineers: A Former Deloitte, Interviewer & Engineer reveals how to get Multiple Job Offers... by Josemaria Siota (Nov 28, 2013)
Deloitte iGAAP 2014: A guide to IFRS global (Dec 2013)
Deloitte Consulting, 2006 Edition: WetFeet Insider Guide by WetFeet (Jan 15, 2005)
Deloitte iGAAP: A Guide to IFRS Reporting Volume A2 Set 2013 (Dec 2012)
Deloitte lands 120k sf in CT.(LEASES): An article from: Real Estate Weekly by Unavailable (Feb 12, 2014)
Wiki information Deloitte:
Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu Limited, commonly referred to as Deloitte, is one of the "Big Four" professional services firms along with PwC, EY, and KPMG. Its global headquarters are located in New York City, United States. Deloitte is the largest...
The Deloitte Technology Fast 500 Awards are run and moderated by Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu Limited. They recognize the 500 fastest-growing technology companies in regions around the world. Winners cover all areas of technology — from Internet to life...